Wednesday, March 11, 2015

A significant new development

The unspelled edition of King James Bible is now available:
   

No longer do you have to sputter and stall when when you encounter Biblical names such as Gittahhepher or Maalehhacrabim or Ramathaimzophim, but glide through them in style, like the best seminary graduate! They are being made available in two volumes because, given the constraints of print-on-demand technology, they didn't fit into one. But there is a positive side-effect: the New Testament is large type, just like all of the unspelled children's books.

For all those people who learn to read primarily in order to be able to read the Bible, this is a godsend. Why should they waste years memorizing ancient English spellings, like the difference between “prophesy” and “prophecy,” when they could be reading the Bible instead.

Not a Christian? Not a problem! Write to me, and I will have your holy books unspelled as well. The Book of Mormon comes to mind. (Remember Deseret Script?) And, of course, the Qur’an.

Not religious at all? Not a problem! Just about everybody “gets religion” when they find themselves in extremis. And—surprise!—all of humanity is in extremis. If what's going on doesn't make you feel like praying to some sentient and magnanimous entity to put your mind at ease, then perhaps that's because you lack situational awareness. (I use the term “religion” very loosely, mind you; as Gandhi put it, “God has no religion,” and I certainly agree.)

But people do find solace in “holy books,” especially in times of great distress. And I want to make them more accessible to people who have the misfortune of having English as their native language, and therefore can't pronounce Gittahhepher, or Maalehhacrabim, or Ramathaimzophim, without special training—or Unspell.



9 comments :

Harry J. Lerwill said...

Is there a list of books online that are currently available unspelled, in particular some older works (which are in the public domain) but remain popular?


Dmitry Orlov said...

Hi Harry,

Yes, there is. Go to http://unspell.it and click on "Books."

Howard Skillington said...

How long before the unspelled Book of Mormon?

Dmitry Orlov said...

A couple of weeks from when LDS says "Go!"

JimK said...

The Diamond Sutra is the oldest printed book in the world and a great fundamental Buddhist text. That could be a nice unspelling project! Here are decent English versions downloadable. Red Pine and Thich Nhat Hanh would be two translators at the top, but those are probably not freely available. Not too expensive though.

Jonathan Walliser said...

LOL this is hilarious! hahaha I love your blog!

Nancy LaPlaca said...

You are one of my very favorite writers and commenters on the wild and wacky present.

Pleas Lucian Kavanaugh said...

Dmitry,
If you have a list of future unspelled titles, could you please add Dickens' David Copperfield, Orwell's Animal Farm and 1984?

kaimiddleton said...

This seems like a great idea. For marketing purposes it might also be useful to do a translation of something like The Hobbit, something to get the geeky/nerdy sector interested. Ender's Game? I don't know. BTW, Moby Dick was translated into emoji: http://emojidick.com/